This happens to most of the people in the world.
Game Over, the life before you is just a black screen with the option to continue or just to end it. It is one of the darkest times in your life that seems to be useless with no reason to live on.
A strange time to be living. I experienced it myself a few times, but the last one was severe.
When there is no reason for you to wake up out of bed, no reason to eat nor one to dream is there anything left worth living?
I can’t tell you how many times I have this question pop up in my head…even at times when I am in a state of bliss, it just creeps up on me and whispers in my ear those fearful things, that deadly question: Why are you still alive?
When I finished high school my thoughts about suicide started to bloom. I think there were maybe only a few days of the month that I wouldn’t think about jumping off some building or shooting myself. Then it went away for a while and I couldn’t be more delighted, I was enjoying life to the fullest. School was fine, I had a dream job and I was in another country. All started to crumble with a leg injury that led to me losing my job, getting behind in school and just simply losing my will for anything.
It’s been a wild ride, one that I don’t want to be a part of again. The problem is you can’t escape from such things that easy. Going from joy to anger to sadness and then to emotionless, it’s really something. Like making a paladin fight with daggers, sometimes it works others it doesn’t and then there are those times where nothing happens.
The screen get’s black and a sparkly text pops up saying “Game Over! Insert Coin to continue.” . The choice is yours, will you continue playing the game until you finish it or will you just end it there and keep your coin?
But wait there is more, before you decide you have the time to think. It is indeed a timer that goes down, but as long as there is a bigger number than 0 on the screen you still have time. Use that time, think about it.
You are a unique being, you qualified for the big race so don’t waste your chance and try winning it.
It is hard, really hard! The pain will drive you to borderline insanity, your mind and heart will be lost but you need to stay strong because if you die you won’t die alone.
When you are gone you are taking away a part of this universe. Even if you are only a tiny particle in the universe, you are an important one.
Taking your own life doesn’t mean you die alone, you take down with you the memories about you, your presence, your thoughts and your dreams that might have been lost on the bumpy road of your life. So wait and think, is it really worth ending my life now? I mean I can do it later on as well if nothing changes.
Think before you act, if I didn’t I am sure I wouldn’t be here to tell you just that. There are always people who will cry when you are gone, always.
Stay awake and alive,
The Solkotovic
