2016 In Review Personal, Good And Bad

All in all it was a year of terrible decisions, great losses and even more tragic lives lived because of the choices others made. For me it starts with the Liberal movements and the massive attacks carried out by Radical Muslim and ends pretty soon with the latest dagger piercing through my heart being the death of my younger brother. It’s a sad world we are living and death of a close one just makes you lose all your will to do anything.

Anyhow, the topic at hand is 2016, and a lot happened politically and socially in 2016. The first fact is that Liberalism has gone to [insert desired animal excrement here], and it is indeed the fault of my generation. Not that I would want to blame us millennial for such a despicable picture, but we are to blame. We started demonizing people by the color of their skin, their gender and also by their opinions. Can you actually warp your mind around the fact that Liberals, or self proclaimed Liberals, who should stand for equality and liberation of everyone(making everyone free) are judging people by their color of their skin, the gender and sexuality, while opposite opinions of the “oppressed” majority will get you into jail.

All to much we saw on the news, again and again, human beings calling other human beings trash or not worth living just because they were white, like they had anything to do with slavery that each and every of our ancestor practiced. Like those morons are denying the fact that the largest oppression was conducted by the Turkish Empire(Ottoman Empire), where they would use the people of conquered countries as slaves, their children would be kidnapped and brainwashed into join their army and then conquering more land for the Turks. I will never understand how the American slavery is so bad… yes your great grandma had it really bad, but now what about you, look at yourself, be a bit narcissistic, do you have chains on? Does society look at you as a lower human being? In the media are you portrayed as an great athlete or entertainer, or maybe are you portrayed as evil?

Just think about it, my family faced 500+ years of slavery, due to that fact I as Wallachic  descendant have dark skin, which is very unusual as the standard or the general look of one would be white skin and blue eyes + blond hair. Neither which I have. I am an Arabic looking fellow with curly hair and brown eyes, but then again I do not live in one of the most advanced countries in the world. It is true I never struggled for money, I did a few jobs here and there, played professional basketball, then dug out canals because I got injured and didn’t get enough money from the amateur team I play on, and yet I live in this hell of a country and I did not see a cent from the Turkish government as repayment for the whole 500+ year slavery thing. I faced racism and discrimination in school for my skin and nationality, and where is my money for that? Where are the benefits of that?
I got none. But in the USA it’s different, you got Affirmative Action. I don’t. So the year started with me thing a lot about this issue and basically despising anyone who complained of living in the USA. Yes you have it bad, but you have a chance. If I have it bad I have to go grab my shovel and get back in the mud digging a hole for 20$ a day.  Twenty Dollars a day, compare that to your 10$ per hour and you’ll maybe notice the difference?

A lot of those Liberal fools went out and complained about this issue, but no one does anything about it. No one. And I mean it in the best sense possible. Not all is wrong, I mean some people have it really bad. In the hood as far as I know a lot of people die, like here in my quite town where just a few days ago a dude lost his eye from having a pistol pushed into his face, but like here no one does anything.
If you are to change something in there, you need to change the culture, tell young people it is okay to go to the police for help, it is okay to tell on someone. But that ain’t my thing of expertise so ama stop here.

But then again we have a lot of brave heroes on the side of reason as well, like Vee, Valancious, Sargon of Akkad, Thunderf00t, Louder With Crowder, Girl writes What, Gavin McGinnes and Rebel Media, Lauren Southern, tl;dr, DrRandomCam, the Funny Junk community, Undoomed, David Packerman, and normal people in general, heroes that try to bring back the real progress, not some made up progress that will get us back to slavery. Those mentioned people really saved me from losing my mind and thinking that there are only idiots on this planet.

Next up were all those funny wanna be media people who started making news up. Remember bloggers, it is never good to make news yourself. Hence we now saw Donald J. Trump succeed in becoming the USA President. Which in theory is the American dream isn’t it? Everyone being able to become the president one day. The problem is he is too white. Luckily the 8 years of Obama served you so well you will be able to survive four years under Trump, too bad it ain’t Hilary and I would have seen the WWIII in 2017.  Why not vote for third party I wonder?
Well Trump doesn’t seem that bad, it ain’t like he will change too much, or at least that’s what I think.

The next thing I saw in 2016, or noticed, is how really terrible the Education system in Romania is. Like they are copying the USA version of having some kind of chill school experience where everyone gets a start with the Chinese way of doing homework. I mean wow, kids don’t learn how to run at school anymore because they are too tiered of the advanced math they did in the first grade. Mass production of nothing is what the schools do. Like honestly, it is no wonder you don’t even have any more good athletes.

Um…what else, well I traveled a bit around and talked to a lot of people and it was quite fun. I was kinda having a good time, for a long time I felt really not happy, most part of my life that is, but things were going great, to be frank I was reaching a point where I could say I am happy with how things are going. Yet there we are again, and when you think you are on top, something hits you. Swear to God that I don’t believe in that I will one day write a book about my life and it will the most interesting average life you ever read about.

So yeah, in a sad turn of events, my brothers roommates found my younger brother dead in his bed with the laptop on and as far as I saw it was Top 20 Creepy Glitches on YouTube. Horrible shit. The stream of tears that I rolled out that morning was unbelievable, and not only that morning. I say unbelievable because I am not prone to cry, to be frank I didn’t do it for 14 years. That time (14 years ago) my brother went for his first check up for his heart, and that is also the reason he passed away.
As I consulted with the doctors after the  autopsy they told me he couldn’t be saved. Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, the name of the condition and the Cardiac Arrest was strong enough that it ended in less than a second. One says that it is good that it wasn’t painful, but it’s not a calming factor for me. Death is death, painful or not the results are the same. I don’t like it either way.
Anyway, it is still though dealing with the constant reminder that he is gone. My relationship with my brother was a little strange, we weren’t the closest when it came to talking and being with each other but we would do things for each other and care a lot about each other. We had that kind of bond where you can just not talk for months and then meet and be like you were never apart.

As everyone, when I heard the news at 5 am in the morning I was just shocked and couldn’t believe it. One month has passed and thanks to my personality and emotional state plus workaholic attitude I can somehow cope with my sadness, I am very worried about my parents tho. The thing is my personality is that kind of a cold and unaffected about things one cannot change. I am saddened indeed, hurt a lot, but I can’t change it so I am going slowly forward….I feel, well I feel like I am stabbed in the back. Knifes just hanging out of my back and people hanging on to them as I drag myself forward leaving a trail of blood. Is it weird?
Might be, but that’s how I feel. It makes it even worse when some people try to push their pain on you, like a few people close to me do. I understand you have it though as well, but you are not the only one. No one has it easy, but the way you deal with it you can either make it okay for everyone, or just drown everyone with you. It is just getting worse day by day and it comes to my mind that it might force me to build up the walls I had when I was younger(which would mean I will be closed in and that will be the end of my life/future).

In retrospect, those are all bad news, bad things that happened in my life. But that’s not the only thing that happened. I fell in love, I gained some new knowledge and I enjoyed my life like never before. Indeed sad things happened, and will happen again and again, and I feel terrible for even saying that I enjoyed 2016 (thanks to a special someone who commented on my facebook status, where I wanted only to wish everyone I know a Marry Christmas and happy times, because no that’s a crime now…), but i did enjoy it.
I’ve become a coach of a wonderful team, they are not the most talented, or athletic, but I will do the best I can to make them into the best they can be as people and as basketball players. Also I have been privileged to visit many places and explore many wonders in this year, the happiness of making someone happy and the feeling that for once, for once in my whole life I belong somewhere. This is getting a bit personal but it’s okay. I don’t mind writing my feelings, I don’t show em nor tell em, but writing is a good way to make them visible for me at least. In my past I have followed a pattern for success. The ones who made that pattern didn’t make it for success but failure. No matter what I was not enough and the voices became louder and louder, until they exploded, like a balloon, that was 2015 and since then I have been freed and going my own way. Yes I have hit the wall with my nose a couple of hundred times, but now there is a hole in the wall and I can see a good future, never thought I’d see it without my brother tho, and that thought of him being gone will stay for the rest of my existence.  I also learned the gift of giving, and how much joy it brings to everyone. I just simply loved to give my players some gifts, and some people who were working their behinds off, making them happy was a good thing.

 

    O man, o man. Just numbers folks, just numbers.
That’s what years are and will for ever be.
What we make out of those numbers, well that’s up to everybody.
I, I can clearly see the future that was made for me, shaped by me.
But the one thing I can’t see, is you besides me.

With this ode to my brother, I shall leave you be, until 2017. Then we shall meet again, and then we shall change the world together. One letter at a time.

Leave a Reply